Before I had kids I thought I knew so much. I believed in nurture’s superiority to nature. I thought that boys must gravitate towards “boy things” more because they were told that’s what boys like. As any mother with sons could have told me - if they could have gotten the words out through their laughter - that is just not the way it is. I admit the deeply embedded “I love cars” gene has my scientific mind baffled, considering there were no cars up until 150ish years ago. (I’m not looking up when cars were actually invented, as a woman I really don’t care.)
It’s apparent that other things are also buried deep within the male DNA. When I had to explain to Jaden some of the subtle difference between our *ahem* parts, and it finally dawned on him that mommy didn’t have an “outie,” his reply was “Oh… I’m sorry Mommy!”
At four years old he was already convinced of the superiority of a peepee.
My son is surrounded by estrogen. All of his teachers/therapists are female, the director at his school is a woman, and I’m his primary caregiver. Meaning I’m the boss. Jaden’s dad, while having some of the all-to-normal subtle forms of the belief in male superiority, isn’t one to spout off a chauvinistic remark. So imagine our surprise when during a casual conversation about office politics, Jaden cried out “Dad, your boss is a woman?! You can’t have a woman for a boss!”
I almost, at that point, gave up any hope for the future of the race.
He is, however, very sweet and considerate. He insists on buying me flowers (with my money) whenever we go to the grocery store, is quick to say “Wow, you look beautiful Mommy!” when I come downstairs dressed up, and tells me often that he loves me and what a great mom I am. And I don’t even have to pay him to do it.
So in spite of his little boys-are-better quirks, and the body-gas humor, superhero and supervillian obsessions, and his having to shoot or beat up every bad guy in town, I do think he’ll turn out to be a good and considerate man. With nurture.
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