Homeschooling ASD: joy and patience

I waded into Jaden's toy strewn room, unable to find a clear path. I told him to clean it earlier, and he said he did. 

"Jaden, this is what you call a clean room?" I asked incredulously. 

"I'm sorry, Mom," he replied. "My room looked clean to me. It's because my brain thinks different from yours." 

Aww, baby's first time using Autism as an excuse. I called bull***.  Sorry son, not this time.

We're doing well. Oh I mean we still have our moments where I'm supposed to have the patience of an angel and --- sometimes I don't. 

It's important to try my best as a parent, but I know that somewhere along the line I'll always fail. Like any parent.* I think it's also important to apologize to him when I screw up. Children see their parents as some kind of God-figure, if even if we're being wrong and unreasonable. I mean, they do know that we're being unreasonable, but the greater part of them is saying that we are unreasonable because there's something wrong with them. If I screw up, and I do, I tell him so and apologize. 

*Unless you're Caillou's parents, who never get upset, lose their patience, or raise their voice to more than the joyful twitter of a nightingale. But Jaden likes the show, so I must insert my earbuds and try to endure without growling and mocking them, because he hates it when I do that… 

But we've both been out of sorts lately. Just when I think I've found a good balance with him, it goes awry. Patience is worn thin in this household, and his temper flares up like a forest fire over the slightest thing. I wonder if the seasonal allergies have us wonky. Almost worse to me is how terrible he feels about himself afterwards for losing it. 

I think it's partly because school's "in session." He's very hard on himself, and I spend a lot of time trying to get him to be nicer to himself. There's no one to keep up with and there are no tests to fail. But the smallest mistake can send him over the edge.  

So I'm still trying to find our rhythm. I've read in several places that it can take a good year, so to consider the first year practice. I'll take this as gospel since I don't feel completely stabilized yet. I'm really enjoying it though, and - though the word "school" causes a biological reaction in children that is instinctual, much how like a field mouse knows to run away from a hawk's shadow - Jaden is enjoying it more than he'll admit. Any simple craft is a big hit.  He evens asks to do certain "school" things in the evening, for fun. And since I have a sick obsession with researching everything then attempting to compile it, of course lately it's been all things homeschooling. This time there is way too much of it - too many brilliant ideas, cute crafts, and free worksheets and printables everywhere - and I have to stop myself often. If I can't get it under control I might have to go into rehab. 

But I am also fully faced with the… discrepancies in Jaden's learning. Autism, SPD, and Executive Dysfunction are loudly prevalent. My personalized and pieced together curriculum ranges from preschool work to second grade. I've advanced him in some areas, only to have to fall back again to the beginning. His skills and comprehension are all over the place. Which is why I'm more glad I'm able to do this for him. But if ever I had a doubt of his intelligence (and I did, at times) they've been completely laid to rest in the last 6 months. 

Now, God give me more patience.